Gentlemen

A guy friend of mine and I talk a lot about guys and girls, being a gentleman and things like that. He is a gentlemen to the core...no matter what girl he is with, he opens doors, steps off sidewalks, is respectful and honoring at all times, and is just all around a good guy. He is interested in this girl that isn't used to that...as most girls aren't. She balks when he opens the door for her, is surprised when he keeps his word, and other such things. So I thought I'd share my thoughts about this whole thing.

Most guys don't act like gentlemen. And because of the whole women's lib movement, society, etc., most of us have been conditioned to be treated like as well as act like guys in regards to things like opening doors and other such things...there is no longer a distinction. So when guys do act like gentlemen, it is confusing for most girls. They like it, and it feels right, but it isn't what they've been taught should happen, and it isn't normal; so it feels natural, but not normal, which can be quite confusing. Make sense? Even if girls have been taught to expect gentlemanly behavior, experience has probably taught them that realistically, they should only expect that kind of behavior in movies and fairy tales....it would never happen to them. It is also weird when one has honor and sticks to ones word. Most people in general don't, and will do whatever serves his/her self-interest or other such....passions...especially in a guy/girl type of interaction. The honor thing is refreshing and nice, but if a girl has been burned several times, it is going to take a long time to earn trust even if she knows a guy is honorable...she will do anything possible not to get burned again. And she's afraid to hope...because it has so often been killed.

Also, a lot of women are very controlling - it goes back to gender roles and the confusion that has occurred. Women don't really want to control men, but men no longer step up, so women have ended up taking point. When they don't have to, again, they like it and it feels natural, but it isn't normal, so its scary. There is so much confusion in gender roles that no one knows what to do anymore. Women expect what we shouldn't, and then when we are faced with what should be, it is so new and different that it can be intimidating.

So guys...be gentlemen...and be patient. Stick with it and girls will eventually get used to it once again. And girls...let guys be gentlemen. We all need to stop complaining about the way things are and help them get back to the way things should be.