Gifts From Above

"Keep asking, and it will be given to you. Keep searching, and you will find. Keep knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who searches finds, and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. What man among you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask Him! Therefore, whatever you want others to do for you, do also the same for them—this is the Law and the Prophets." Matthew 7:7-12

How often do we actually live as if these verses are true? I confess that I rarely do. I honestly doubt that I have consciously lived as if this were true more than 5% of my life. I think this is one of the promises the Enemy works hardest to get us to forget. And why wouldn't he? Take a minute to actually think of the power and promise contained in these verses. I've lived in the darkness for so long that the light of these verses is blinding and I can't even begin to wrap my mind around it. I wonder if these verses are of the nature that one has to live out and put into practice before they begin to really take root in one's soul.

How often do we see God's gifts of bread and fish as stones and snakes? Last fall I was in the middle of wrapping up college and transitioning the ministry I served with into different leadership. It was a crazy time in life and some things happened that both deeply wounded me and caused me to be burned out. I remember saying that I needed a break from formal ministry for at least a year; that I needed time to heal and mend before getting back out on the front lines again.

Fast forward to last week when I had been whining and complaining and seriously put out for the last four months because I was "stuck" in a job I hated and had no avenue in which to do formal ministry. I wasn't able to do what I loved, what I was created to do, and I was bitter about it. I was letting my circumstances totally overwhelm me and my spirit was crushed - dying and calling out for help. I had totally forgotten about the cry of my soul from last semester and the desperate need I had to take a break and heal and mend. There I was complaining and crying out to God, "Why have You done this thing to me? Why am I in this place?"

And then, in one of the most ordinary, every day moments, my eyes were opened to the truth. I saw that this thing that was happening to me, was actually a gift that was given to me. I had mistaken the bread and fish for rocks and snakes. I needed a break. I needed some time away from the front lines. I got it. Here I am in a place where I am able to minister, yet not doing ministry. I have a place to live, I can pay my bills, and have the pleasure of working with a dear friend for awhile. I'm in a place where the healing and mending that can only occur by slowing down can take place. I'm learning to more consistently view others as having redemptive value. I'm in the nitty-gritty of human life and being pushed to grow without being shoved. I'm learning to slow down. I'm learning more about who I was created to be. I'm learning to figure out - then live within - the boundaries that must guide me while living in the temporary quarters of my earthly body. I'm slowly learning a lesson long ago recommended to me - to let myself be loved. And I'm getting back to a place where I remember the delight of ministry instead of just the drama.

This season of my life is a gift right out of the above passage. Though my circumstances haven't changed, I will now try to do as Psalm 37:4 says, and "Take delight in the LORD" knowing that "He will give [me my] heart's desires;" and I'll remember that He often knows my heart's desires better than I do. I'll try to never forget that my wonderful Father would never give me stones and snakes instead of bread and fish. I encourage you to do the same.